wandering into and out of never quite knowing how the line ends before a thought or a new wave or expression falls the new explicitly reviving the old a sense forward of possibility of failure or success pleasing no one and replacing motion with stillness.

The feeling of being wrong, of seeing differences, of wanting to escape. People meet and the feeling is there, unknowable as to how it arose. There is the sense of I want what I can't have, and I don't want to want what I can't have. Double bind. Beautiful reason to let go of it all, accept the loss of future happiness. How easily the fear dissolves and forms again. It comes and goes in a clear light and is made out of nothing. There is no celebration or dullness. Red flowers, blue pools of water, green hills, pink flesh, white light and black space. A cross, a breast, a nipple, lips. Contracting, retreat, facing, loving, making love.

I am stricken with this realization. There is only this moment. What could this mean? Realization occurs in time and this moment is timeless. So much so that it has no material existence. Other than everything that is, was and ever will be.

without the underlying space each contact, physically, would be self- referential and therefore, not "felt". such as attention can include a wider focus, the individual friction phenomena can be "seen" as part of the greater whole. when seen through attention, this whole is found to be edgeless. this can not be understood because the mind requires boundaries around something in order to focus on it. therefore the mind exists in awareness and can think about itself and in doing so must begin to put limitations on its own existence. this only occurs when attention "uses" thinking to focus(think) on itself.

I fell in love with means there was a movement, amidst continual movement. This is stillness. Time to move again. There is only this. Time to move again. Speak from true understanding or suffer continually the misconceived solidity of perception. I am sorry. I kept you all with me too long. You are beautiful and I want it. I am afraid to lose or be left out, stuck with emptiness and pain so I hang on continually. I am sorry. It hurts. I forgive this pain, yet it continues. I tried to let you be so that the pain would stop and reveal a greater beauty, but I still hang on. Funny little hanger. I love me.